im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
