All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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