i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
