Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
