omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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