we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
