Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
