I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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