yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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