he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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