I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
