Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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