Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
