Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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