I'm jealous of your bromance
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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