just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Green mimosas i think yes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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