I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize