I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
this hospital has no fireball
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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