dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
