I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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