Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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