There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
