I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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