I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
