Sponge bath it is.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
