upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
