brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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