my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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