i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
