i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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