i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
