You're completely useless in the revolution.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
