he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
