I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
