I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
