I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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