but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
