What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
