Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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