I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
