Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
