So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
do nipples grow back?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
