Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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