Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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