its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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