no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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