carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
