I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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