his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
