I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
