he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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