i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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