K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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