"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
