Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize