yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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