God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
