I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
