I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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