i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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