He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
