no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
