we have officially lost it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
