can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
