If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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