I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
