and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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