It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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