hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize